dont you feel useless sometimes? dont you feel like you dont have a life? dont you feel like you've done something terribly wrong and you want to change it but you cant? dont you feel like theres just something terribly wrong with you? well, thats how i feel.

i seriously have no idea what im doing here. whats my purpose living on this earth. staying in this apartment. living the life im now. i just dont understand any of it. its so ... mind boggling.

went groceries shopping today. bought myself a cheap oven. going to cook again tomorrow. some chilli pasta thingy. not sure what is it. was in sy's cook book. so yeah. tuesday we're going to bake something and wednesday i have to buy sy and mode dinner because i lost a bet. damn. i thought it was a sure win. but i guess not.

its so late but somehow i dont feel sleepy at all. i've got to serve people tomorrow and yet im still being this way. i dont think i can ever get rid of this feeling of mine. this feeling i have every single night. i just want it. i want it all back. i love the feeling. i want the feeling. i need the feeling.

i adore her strengh when she says "i love him,nobody will come between us".

rick.